March 15, 2007
Upon my return from a week in paradise, I once again began searching the World Wide Web for my elusive man. I search for the man who may be the missing link; the love of my life.
I saw my potential love’s profile and photo and decided that the thing to do was to be bold; to send the first communication. And so, I sent him a cyber wink. There was a quick cryptic response which I interpreted as a wry sense of humor. His correspondence alluded to world travels, living in Jakarta and an interest in science. After the exchange of a few e-mails, we decided to meet at one of my favorite spots in New York City — The American Museum of Natural History.
Date day arrived and I was excited at the prospect of meeting Jakarta Man. I decided that a casual look of jeans and a sweater was the way to go for this date. Of course, careful consideration of layering also had to come into play in preparation for the hot flashes that were sure to come.
I arrived a few minutes early. In spite of the chill in the air, it was a beautiful and sunny day so I parked myself on the bench outside and perused the copy of the New York Times stashed in my bag. After a few minutes a shadow appeared over the page. As I looked up I saw a tall and handsome man who was casually well-dressed. He was backlit by the brilliant sun. Even so, at first glance it was clear that this man was certainly more attractive than the photos he had posted on the internet.
I was thrilled. Was it possible that before me stood a charming, witty and handsome man? I smiled at Jakarta Man as I stood and shook his hand in greeting. A soft hint of a long forgotten Texas twang lingered in the air as he greeted me. What did I have to lose? Even if this man turns out to be a dud, I will still have the dinosaurs to entertain me.
We wound our way through the museum. As we roam from display to display he begins to tell me his life stories. He told me that his time spent in Jakarta involved a marriage, sex, corruption, millions of dollars and rigged elections. These stories sounded more like a spy novel than real life. Were they real or the workings of a very smart madman?
The more Jakarta Man spoke, the more I caught glimpses of his rotting teeth. I had never seen anything like them before. It was remarkably distracting. I couldn’t believe it! All I could think of was the song about Bloody Mary in the movie “South Pacific.”
Bloody Mary’s chewin’ Betel nuts.
She is always chewin’ Betel nuts.
Bloody Mary’s chewin’ Betel nuts.
And she don’t use Pepsodent!
Had my Jakarta Man been chewing on betel nuts? He told me that he would be going to the dentist the following Monday, but how much could be done short of a new pair of dentures. I wanted to believe him, but as the time passed his stories became more elaborate. Then came the icing on the cake. He told me of the effort to slowly poison him to “keep him in his place.” The poisoning that facilitated the rotting of his teeth while living in Jakarta.
I think I’ll stick with the dinosaurs.
Comments
amazonratz (anonymous) says...
Good Lord! sounds like he might be a meth addict. That can ruin your teeth and make you paranoid/delusional....glad you got away from him! Good luck with future dates.
March 16, 2007 at 8:25 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mchurchill (mchurchill) says...
OMG!!!! I confess that didn't even occur to me..... I just assumed he was out of his mind. Being a meth addict could explain A LOT.
March 16, 2007 at 9:40 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
bornin1955 (anonymous) says...
I've been noticing a LOT more people with rotten teeth lately... never dreamed it could be meth, but I'll bet it is. Scary!! (Especially in a blind date.)
March 27, 2007 at 1:10 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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