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Blog: Not Far from the Tree

Wedding big endeavor for all in family

Hi, my name is Lois, and I am a Boomer Girl.

Old enough to have romantic and nostalgic memories like rushing home from school to sing and dance to American Bandstand and to have seen great groups like the Beach Boys on the Steel Pier for $5, and not old enough to be afraid of a computer, or God forbid, the internet!

And beyond faith, hope, and love, the only remaining constant I know is change.

I am married and have three daughters, Chrystin, Laura, and Jackie, who will also contribute to this project, and this is where my stories will begin. It may be good to add here that Laura lives in the Midwest and we all live on the East Coast.

Mothers and daughters dream of some occasions their whole lives, and two weeks ago, we all shared such a moment when Laura married.

Let me see how this happened ... A little over four years ago, Laura came home one summer night and told me about this "guy" she met. Hmmm. A few months later, I heard the phrase, "the ONE." Uh oh. And the rest is a beautiful story of two young people building a new life together. How could she possibly be old enough to be getting married? When did I get old enough?

When Laura became engaged, her sisters and I sprung into action to find the type of accommodations they might enjoy for their wedding day. Change: Apparently my dream, her dream, and his dream wedding day were all very different. My dream (elegant in its simplicity) would have to change or be denied, and theirs would have to compromise.

Change: A change of venue. Not completely satisfied with the idea of planning a wedding long distance and the extra year it would require, they decided to get married there in October. They were very comfortable in the church they belonged to and they would explore reception sites. I truly understood their position and was very supportive. Now I would need to let go of the dream of being with her, helping her plan all the details.

Change: October ! What a beautiful month to get married! The colors of autumn ~ so warm and inviting. The bridesmaids will be wearing "truffle." Brown? I know I always gave my girls the box of at least 64 wondrous Crayolas colors. Brown? The color of my high school uniform ? I knew I had to wrap my conventions around this and began to think of brown as the blend of all those rich and tranquil colors.

Change: "We found a place we really love for the reception, a beautiful bed and breakfast on a ranch." Now, none of us are "theme" people. So, I was pretty sure she didn't mean a ranch theme resort. Do you mean like the Ponderosa? Yyyep! Please let the next sentence be, "Would you like to come out and visit it?" It was and yes. The drive to the ranch was quite a ride for a city slicker. Now, we're not corny either, but I think we'll need to make some signs to assure our guests that are on the right path, literally. The B & B was absolutely charming, and the walk-through touring the twelve guest rooms reassured me as I crossed each threshold that this was an excellent choice. And will the reception be in that gorgeous, comfortable common room? No, the reception will be in the barn. Although I am neither a naive or silly woman, back in the farthest corner of my mind, the image of the barn includes those steer hanging about? No. OK, I can have vision. I am artistic enough to recognize potential. Clearly, the owners had. The barn was the perfect setting for a country reception. I have to admit I had some reservations, but why travel out to Kansas to go to the same wedding you could have gone to in Philly? It will be a great adventure. Go for it !

Changes: I discovered how to use the word want correctly. I learned that registering is not just for china anymore. I found out that Diane Keaton's great mother of the bride dresses were movie costumes and that "MOTB" dresses deserve an article all of their own.

Backtracking to the ranch weekend: On that same visit, Laura asked me to come with her to choose her wedding gown. She had narrowed it down to four and I felt honored that she waited for me. She looked stunning in each one of them, and she listened to me as I told her how she looked in each. But when she stepped into the "ONE," it came alive with her elegance, flair, and personality because it complemented her so naturally. I tried not to gush so as not to influence her.

On her wedding day, wearing that gown, she took my breath away. Laura was as radiant as the first time I held her in my arms, the most radiant bride I have ever seen.

Some of our dreams were the same.

*

I am Chrystin McHugh, daughter number one by order of Lois McHugh and oldest sister to Laura and Jackie McHugh. I am happily involved in a significant relationship with no children. I earn my living by planning and marketing events and continuing education conferences. People think it's a glamorous career - it's not - don't even go there!

My sister Jackie is in college. She is going to the same school I went to; I loved it and I think she does too. She is 11 years younger than me. It's a big difference and it was a very obvious difference until about five years ago. At that time, I finally started to get along with her and develop some common ground. The relationship started out slowly but now we are good buds.

Laura is the middle child but she doesn't really have any middle child syndromes. She just got hitched to a great guy last month. I was the maid of honor/self proclaimed co-coordinator of the wedding (other co-coordinators include the bride and mother of the bride). I love planning and designing for personal parties, etc. I did lots of fun stuff for her wedding. Her wedding was the best wedding I've ever been to...though I am biased. Laura works in a very fast paced, competitive industry and I have a lot of respect for her ambition. We are very similar and our significant others will verify that - we like the same tv shows, foods, and crushed ice fountain sodas. The last commonality brings me to my mom...

My mom is the Boomer Girl on this blog. As far as mom's go, she's a pretty cool one (not that I've had another mom to compare her to). She's willing to look outside the box in terms of raising her girls and their choices. My mom mentioned change as a constant in her blog and boy-oh-boy did she nail it.

I am at that age where changes are just flying at me - work, relationships, friendships, status, body - and I'm forced to encounter them (good and bad), keep truckin', and get ready for the next. To paraphrase a line from In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner, "No matter what changes, my shoes always fit."

*

I’m Laura McHugh, daughter of Boomer Girl Lois and middle sister of Chrystin and Jaclyn. I grew up near Philadelphia, where the rest of my family still lives. In 2003, I moved to Montana with my now-husband, Joe, to follow my career-dreams. Two years later, we moved to Kansas to follow his.

We married in Kansas in October 2006.

When Joe and I first seriously started talking about getting engaged almost two years ago, I only had the sweetest feelings about it. The man I loved and traveled the country with would officially become my family.

And like family, it didn’t take long to realize we loved each other unconditionally — but making this wedding work would be more of a challenge than we’d realized.

I believe some brides were born to plan their weddings. I did not get that bride gene. Can’t we just have a small church ceremony, then invite fifty people to my parents’ house for dinner? Not if it couldn’t accommodate Joe’s dream to invite our 200 closest friends and family members.

Here entered the changes.

I had to give up my dream of a small, intimate wedding.

Joe had to give up his of a large one.

I thank God for supportive parents. Parents, who never discouraged either of us from moving away. Parents, who endorsed our plans to marry away from our hometowns, in order to hold the ceremony a year earlier.

I never realized how progressive our Boomer Parents were. In fact, as Mom helped pick out my dress, she had to calm my nerves that instead of wearing classic white, I’d wear light gold with white accents.

Now, after months of work and help from my Mom, Chrystin and Jackie, I feel so happy with every decision we made, to finally be married and no longer planning a wedding!

*

This is from Jackie, the youngest of the McHugh girls.

Not only was this the first wedding I have ever been in, it was the very first wedding I’ve ever been to. And for it to be my sister Laura’s wedding made it even more memorable and special to me. Laura asked me to be a bridesmaid, and made my oldest sister, Chrystin, the Maid of Honor. I felt so honored to even be in the bridal party because I knew she had several best friends that she wanted by her side, but chose me and her sister-in-law over them.

The wedding was more amazing than I thought it would be. The church was absolutely beautiful, in an artistic and simple way. The altar completely opened up to all the visitors, so they could all see the blessing of Laura and Joe’s marriage. The ceremony was filled with big smiles, glistening eyes, and tears of joy. Afterwards, we all headed over to the ranch for lunch and waited for the reception to begin. Once the time came for the reception, I was ready to run over to the barn, in the pouring down rain for a night full of dancing and good food. And that is exactly what it was, a celebration of two happy souls, surrounded by all those who loved them.

Comments

jcdoyle53 (anonymous) says...

Beautiful story! I had a tear in my eye more than once. I enjoyed every word of it from 3 awesome daughters and 1 super mom.
Jo

December 13, 2006 at 9:32 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

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