September 5, 2008
By Cara Fidler
Recently, on a Tuesday evening, I was pleased to see that one of my favorite movies, Terms of Endearment, starring Shirley MacLaine, Jack Nicholson, and Debra Winger was on the tube, and sat down to watch director, James L. Brooks, beautifully written, insightful, heartrending tear-jerker. I was curious to know if the movie would still resonate with me in the same way it had over two decades ago. For many reasons, watching this film stirred up a tapestry of emotions, punctuated the passage of time, and served as a nostalgic reminder of the then and there, of the many challenges and changes, big and small, that I've experienced, enjoyed, tackled, or endured along the way, and the emotional terrain that my mother and I have traversed, since the movie was first released twenty-five years ago, in 1983.
Around the time of the movie's release, I'd relocated from a suburb near Baltimore, Maryland where I'd grown up, to Orlando, Florida with my husband at the time. Back then, the farthest I'd traveled was to St. Thomas, Virgin Islands, neighboring states like Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, New York City, and Washington, D.C. My roots, my family, and my heart was in Maryland, and although I looked forward to moving to Florida, it was a bittersweet experience.
After reading reviews of the film, for me it was a must-see, and on a sunny afternoon in 1983, I went to a matinee looking forward to a rare treat: a compelling human interest story about relationships, most notably, the relationship between a mother and daughter through the passage of time, with strong performances by great actors depicting a story that would resonate with fans, for one reason or another, and that would likely move an audience to tears, while at the same time, give rise to a greater appreciation for the randomness of life, and the importance of not taking our loved ones for granted, by being grateful for, and appreciative of, the blessings bestowed upon us in our relationships with those we love, since one never knows what lies around the corner.
Feeling homesick, I sat in the cool, dark theater watching a scene in which, Emma (played by Debra Winger) hugs her mother, Aurora (played by Shirley MacLaine) goodbye. It was an emotional scene and one that I identified strongly with, having recently said goodbye to my own mother, father, brother, sisters and other family and friends before moving to Orlando.
The expression on Emma's face when her husband, Flap (played by Jeff Daniels) pulls away from the curb where her mother, girlfriend, and housekeeper stood waving goodbye captured the essence of the gamut of emotions that bubble to the surface when saying goodbye means that you're moving hundreds of miles away from home for the first time in your life, and not just a few miles away around the corner.
At the age of twenty-three, the day I waved goodbye to my family was one of the most emotional days of my life, and the sadness I felt was palpable. I remember my father smiling, standing at the edge of the driveway waving, while my mother stood in the background weeping, and as soon as my husband pulled away in the car, I bawled like a baby. Every emotion I'd felt, as moving day drew nearer, spilled out in a torrent.
In the twenty-five years since I first saw Terms of Endearment, I have lost my brother, all four of my grandparents, an aunt, my great grandmother, an uncle, and two cousins. Each of them was unique and lovable and are dearly missed by their loved ones.
In 1983, I'd yet to experience the loss of a loved one, and it was from this perspective that I watched the movie for the first time. Regardless, the scenes after Emma learns she is sick were poignant and painful to watch, and I was glad I'd tucked some tissues in my purse.
In the here and now, I found that I enjoyed the movie every bit as much as I did the first time, but that the film evoked a bouquet of sentiments and memories, and tapped into a deeper wellspring of sadness, bringing me to tears, once again.
If you haven't seen Terms of Endearment, it is a gem well worth watching, and is much more than a chic-flick. The story is a finely drawn slice of life about everyday people that encompasses the ups and downs in their lives, the comical, the curve balls, the disappointments, the betrayals, unwavering loyalty, unconditional love, and the tragic loss of a loved one.
Comments
showbizkid (anonymous) says...
I've seen this movie countless times and cry every time I see the Shirley McLaine "my daughters needs her medication" scene. It pushes all my buttons and I weep for everyone I've lost. One of the best movies ever made, in my humble opinion.
September 8, 2008 at 12:48 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
chloe44 (anonymous) says...
This was a wonderful movie and I have not seen it in a long time. I'm not sure what new emotions it may stir up after so many years and so many journeys. I am hoping to share the movie with my own daughter sometime soon..... and with tissues in hand.
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September 8, 2008 at 10:25 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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