September 1, 2007
The other day I was sitting at my desk, keeping about my daily work (which, in a nutshell, is maintaining two collegiate magazines as an editor). The phone rang. I answered, unsuspecting of the barrage that would soon whiz through the receiver.
Hi, this Nancy blah blah blah ... Head spinning, I didn’t catch the last name as she spoke with great speed. It was clear she was on a strict schedule to get something accomplished, wasting no time.
I am inquiring about the K-State magazine position. At this point, I am almost positive I am talking to a professor as the aged voice on the other end continues to get to the point.
You see, my daughter just started as a freshman in journalism, she doesn’t know the town very well or many people. The blah blah blah center recommended a few jobs to get her acclimated. How can she get involved?
Uh … slightly caught off guard by the audacity of this mother (and having great compassion for her poor unaware daughter in a dorm room somewhere), I explained that what we offer wouldn’t quite serve her apprehensive collegian and our phone call ended.
I quickly e-mailed my boomer mom. Subject line: “Have you ever tried to find me a job?!?!”
Frankly, I was struck with fear after this conversation. I have read way too much about the culture surrounding today’s generation gap — even about these textbook parents who are overinvolved. But I had yet to come so close to one — I felt like I should have asked for an autograph.
My mother’s response: “What a huge helicopter parent …I can’t believe anyone’s parent would do that … I did a lot for you and your brother but never that.”
So we agreed — a line had been crossed. Now hoping this collegian has found a local pub and fake ID (ok not really), I do hope she will use college to learn how to do things on her own, without pocket mom & dad.
It’s this line that has presented itself in today’s society — do parents do too much? How much is enough? When should they let go? As one expert told me, today’s twentysomethings grew up with parents as friends and counselors, not teachers or authority figures. That being said, many may have never been given the chance to think for themselves.
Sure, while I was in college I spoke to my parents daily, in one form or another. Like the time, over AOL Instant Messenger, they told me my cat had been put to sleep. Or when I suffered from a beguiling professor, seeking their advice (or trying to make them equally angry). But when it came to charting my course, they were vague. When all I wanted was reassurance as to what decision to make, they fired back with “it’s not ours to make.”
So to my mystery collegian: I am willing to offer you an opportunity to work on our publication … if it’s what you want to do.
Comments
golfergirl (anonymous) says...
Hear, hear! Let's let our kids get their own jobs, apartments, credit, dating partners...without our intervention. What a concept!!!
September 2, 2007 at 11:28 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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