February 27, 2008
I have been back in Costa Rica for a month now, after spending 10 weeks in Kansas. There I weathered the horrible winter (which is STILL going on ), and enjoyed my equally wonderful time with family and friends.
Prior to leaving Costa Rica, I had been struggling with several things that were slowly killing my spirit and stealing my joy. I knew that being with Ken, and in Costa Rica, were two wonderful things, but I wasn't enjoying either of them. Knowing a bit about depression I wondered if that was what I was dealing with.
I did a lot of research online of the illness to gain some knowledge. I wrote to and heard back from many friends about their experiences and treatments (thank you, you know who). I realized I had all the symptoms and knew something wasn't "right". I sent Ken to the pharmacy, and without needing a prescription for MANY meds down here, was able to obtain the medication that was recommended by friends of mine in the health care field back home.
I decided to take some "time off" and return to Kansas to relax among family and friends, as well as see my doctor. I wanted to make sure I was taking the right medication for the right reasons. Turns out I was, but needed to up the dosage a bit. I had already felt some positive changes with what I had started taking in Costa Rica, and was thrilled not to have had any negative side effects. After upping the amount of my meds, to treat some anxiety as well as depression, I'm was feeling more my "old self" each day.
I knew that the meds alone wouldn't take care of all the "issues" I was dealing with in Costa Rica so I had to deal with solutions to those problems as well. I realized that some of them couldn't be changed. But how I DEAL with them could be.
One of the problems was what I was seeing and feeling the deterioration of my seven year relationship with Ken. My "moods" (a.k.a. depression, anxiety, and hormonal changes) had taken their toll on him as much as they did on me. We neither one were happy but didn't know what to do about it. My meds have helped me deal with a lot of the stuff that really is NOT a big deal (like I had used to think) as well be more accepting of various things that I know I will never be able to change. I also purchased a "relationship" book that became very valuable to ME as it focuses on empowering ME before I can expect any improvements in my relationship. VERY eye-opening!
Other than relationship issues (which still have areas we need to tackle, like having "date night", time just for US, better communication, etc.) my other main problem was being bored. Lacking a purpose. Feeling solely like a housekeeper. Taking care of everyone else's needs with no one looking after mine. Not feeling really needed or appreciated.
I was bored. Lacked interaction with others. Was feeling cooped up and bummed out. BUT ... I have now solved THOSE problems and life again for me is GOOD! What did I do? Well, I semi-retired from early retirement. Yep. I procured a JOB ! I'm loving it and will be thrilled to blog about it soon. Right now, I'm working a split shift and need to get a nap in before returning to my employment.
I know my blogs have tended to be light-hearted and as entertaining as possible ::wink wink:: and this one is a little off-track in that sense. But having always been known as the "happy girl" with a zest for life, I never thought depression would be something that I had to face. But I had it, faced it, and treated it. I now know I don't have to suffer with it. Because of that, I wanted to share my story in hopes it might be of help to others. Depression can hit anyone. And there is help for everyone.
Smiling again in the Jungle...
Ronna
Comments
amazonratz (anonymous) says...
Thanks for your honesty. Depression can hit anyone at any time. Often role transitions such as your semi-retirement, can precipitate some of it. Glad you're doing better! crabby
February 27, 2008 at 6:39 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cathy (cathy) says...
I agree with Crabby and I applaud you for trying to get to the bottom of it and being proactive. You are probably speaking for a LOT of women our age who are in the same boat. 'Am eager to hear about the job.... update us soon!
February 27, 2008 at 10:32 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
rvonknorring (rvonknorring) says...
I think a LOT of things lead to my "break down"! Moving away from family, friends, not working, hormonal changes, relationship issues...!!
I'm just glad I realized I don't HAVE to suffer like I was!
Thanks for the support!!
February 27, 2008 at 2:36 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Seester (anonymous) says...
I am SO proud of you!
It's no small thing you've done.....letting your guard down and exposing your more vulnerable side.
But you did it in hopes of helping someone else who might be struggling.
That's a totally selfless act, and I know you'll be rewarded for it!
I love my big seester!!!
February 28, 2008 at 8:44 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
EllenBesso (anonymous) says...
Hi Rona: Thanks for your honest & true story. The allopathic medical system used to say that depression wasn't a 'normal' part of the perimenopause/menopause years (whatever normal means!).
But my friend & I knew differently, & as time went on, it became clear that many other women agreed. We're so much more sensitized to everything now that all our circuits are re-wiring themselves (per Dr. Northrup). We feel an urgency to fix the things that aren't right about our lives...& to do it right now! We don't suffer fools gladly.
Now the medical system acknowledges that depression can be a part of these mid-life years. It's validating at least.
Ellen Besso
www.ellenbesso.com/midlifemaze
www.ellenbesso.com
info@ellenbesso.com
March 8, 2008 at 3:56 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Beckie (anonymous) says...
Hi Ronna. I am so glad you are feeling better, and thank you so much for sharing your depression with us. I, too, went through a semi-depression after I retired from a 30-year court reporting job. Writing my blog and medication solved some of my depression issues, but I think I still need a part-time job, too.
My daughter and I have a blog that deals with boomer issues to boomerang issues (her generation). I will be referring to your blog quite a bit because I have not found a better source in the blogosphere than BoomerGirl. Thanks for the information.
Cheers,
Beckie
April 11, 2008 at 8:35 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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