BoomerGirl Diary

Ah, the workplace holiday party — a chance to relax, enjoy tasty food and beverages and get to know co-workers away from the job’s daily grind.

And take great care not to make an idiot of yourself.

“It’s extremely important to be on your best behavior — extremely important,” said Shirley Martin-Smith, owner of Martin-Smith Personnel Services and Adecco, two Lawrence operations that provide career placement and temporary employment services. “An employer will notice if you know how to handle yourself in a professional group setting. They may be extremely pleased with your performance on the job, but your performance outside of work is equally important.”

That’s why it’s vital to avoid drinking too much or getting frisky with a colleague — unless you’re willing to face the consequences, warns a new survey.

WorldWIT, an online networking organization for women in business, asked its nearly 50,000 members in 25 countries for their “top holiday office party regrets.”

The top five indiscretions:

1. Drinking too much (three or more alcoholic beverages), 72 percent. Actually vomiting or otherwise becoming ill as a result: 8 percent.

2. Forgetting a colleague’s name, 46 percent.

3. “Brown nosing” with upper management, 31 percent.

4. Becoming “romantically involved” with a co-worker while at the party, 18 percent. Of those, 31 percent said they continued a brief affair following the fling, 27 percent pretended it never happened and 8 percent said they continued to be involved with the colleague today as a result of the impromptu interlude.

5. Getting caught gossiping, 13 percent.

“If you are having negative conversations about your job or your company, if you’ve had too many drinks, or you’re not watching what you say — we’ve all seen it happen — it really can make people step back and think twice about your professional skills and your ability to succeed,” said Martin-Smith, who said she wasn’t surprised by the survey results. “Unfortunately, it does leave that impression, which is very, very hard to overcome, if at all. People tend to remember the negative behavior over the positive behavior.”

The survey confirms that, too. More than half of respondents, 54 percent, said a co-worker’s indiscretion at a holiday function had changed their opinion of him or her.

Martin-Smith figures that such a fate is easy to avoid.

“Don’t give them that chance,” she said.

Uh, boss, I’m really, really sorry ...

Committing a regretful faux pas at the office holiday party doesn’t have to secure you a permanent spot on the boss’ naughty list.

Liz Ryan, who runs WorldWIT as a workplace expert after spending 20 years as a corporate executive, offers these tips for bouncing back from workplace celebration blunders:

• Apologize. Whether it’s to the boss you insulted, the colleague you flirted with or the guest you spilled a drink (or worse) on, contact the person and offer a simple mea culpa.

Don’t gush or try to make amends, unless you damaged or destroyed personal property.

• Watch out. Watch your step for the next two weeks to six months, depending on the heinousness of your gaffe. Kissed the boss? Purgatory may be longer. Just “be cool, do your work and be overly respectful and careful until you’re back in good standing,” Ryan advises.

• Avoid trouble. Keep out of situations that might lead to a relapse. Avoid workplace social events for a while, if necessary.

• Go to the top. If your boss saw, or likely heard, about the embarrassing episode, talk privately with him or her about it.

A major problem might reflect poorly on the department or even the boss — and also might make it difficult for the boss to support you before other higher-ups who might be aware of the situation. Apologizing to the boss outlines what you plan to do to make things right, and shows that you are a professional willing to take responsibility for a mistake.

• Don’t dwell. Life goes on, so don’t keep apologizing or reprising the incident for the amusement of your colleagues. “It’s over, and tomorrow is a new day,” Ryan says.