February 24, 2008
The English dramatist Williams Congreve once penned, “Music has charms to soothe a savage beast, to soften rocks or bend a knotted oak.” In my case, I want to believe music may also “…ensure a healthy colon.” Like the archaeologist who painstakingly brushes away dust from a precious relic, I’m discovering more & more solid evidence that I am officially ensconced in middle age. Two recent experiences, a colonoscopy and a “Kansas” rock concert, provide further credence that I am now closer to being 100 years old than I am to the day of my birth.
The colonoscopy was on a Monday, the concert was the following Friday. At the show, I smiled wondering “how many of these guys have had a colonoscopy?” That thought rarely runs through the mind of the crowd at a Pearl Jam or Beyonce’ show.
The “routine” colonoscopy is most decidedly one sign you’ve landed smack dab in mid-life. While the post-procedure, anesthetic “high” I experienced reminded me of some youthful digressions with “experimental” drugs, the bottom line was I still went through having a tube up my rear.
Being at a “classic rock” concert listening to 30-year old hits like ‘Carry On My Wayward Son” and “Dust In The Wind” is another sign of middle age spread. “Classic rock” is a music industry pleasantry for the word “ancient”. Kansas, The Moody Blues and other talented “classic artists” are in the “perform with symphonies” stage of their career. That’s code for “no more wild stage antics, no post concert “partying with the band” and no tv’s thrown out of their hotel windows. And yes, one truly might wonder about their health at times.
I paid good money for both experiences but of the two, seeing “Kansas” for about the 100th time, was by far the most enjoyable. Medical authorities and my friends suggest that my colonoscopy was the most relevant to my long term health and well being. I think it’s debatable.
One required fasting, laxatives & the ensuing bodily functions, being put to sleep and having a 7 foot tube inserted in the derrière. The concert simply required finding a seat, sitting back and listening to some outstanding music. Hmmm?
Happily both, while outwardly having little in common, were a smashing success. I will forever equate them as inexorably woven together. Even better was the colonoscopy diagnosis sheet proclaiming my colon “normal” and setting my next one in 10 years!
That’s at least 4 or 5 Kansas shows away from now!!
Post a comment
Commenting requires registration.